How To Talk To Children About Sexual Abuse And Consent

How To Talk To Children About Sexual Abuse And Consent

Data estimates that 35% of women around the world have experienced sexual assault in their lifetime. “Women between the ages of 16 and 19 are four times more likely to be victims of rape or sexual assault and female college students between the ages of 18 and 24 are three times more likely to experience sexual assault.”

While rape is not exclusive to any gender, females are disproportionately more likely to be victims of rape. In recent times the media has been agog with stories after stories of girls who have been raped, or raped and then murdered.

As a society, we owe it not only to our friends, neighbors, sisters, brothers, mothers, wives, sons, and daughters to get justice for victims but also to raise individuals and community members incapable of such heinous crimes. We can do this by teaching several things like love, respect, right to life, community, and consent but today, we will focus on consent.

Here are a few ways to improve safety and teach your child about consent;

Having conversations with children about sex can be uncomfortable but understanding how important it is to talk to your children especially teenagers about sexual health will help you to forge ahead. Talking helps them to know what is normal and what is not. It also tells them it’s okay to communicate. That way, when something goes wrong it’ll be easier for them to come to you with their challenges. Another important reason to talk with teenagers and young adults is, peers and society may unknowingly facilitate early sexual abuse through things overlooked such as “tapping current” where boys deliberately bump into girls to catch a feel.

Tackling relationship and sexual health conversations gradually will make conversations easier over time. Here are some pointers to help you on your way when teaching your teenagers and young adults about consent:

• Talk about relationships and explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Also, remember to model it through your relationships.
• Teach children about boundaries. Help them understand and set boundaries for themselves. Let them know it’s okay for boundaries to change but they must be communicated always. They also need to understand that just as they would want their boundaries respected, they need to respect the boundaries of others.
• Talk about asking for and giving Consent: Teenagers and young people should be taught the importance of asking for consent. Simple examples can be given on asking for consent e.g. “is it okay if I kiss you” “can I take off your shirt?” Explain that silence is not consent. Consent should be verbal, not assumed, and unforced. It should also be a continuous conversation, not a onetime thing.
• Help them feel comfortable in saying No. Teach children that they have the rights over their body and they determine who to let touch them or not. If someone tries to do something uncomfortable like touching them they should say NO and tell a trusted adult. Also, it’s okay if they change their minds at any point even after saying something was okay.
• Teach them to recognize unsafe situations.
• Remind them it’s okay to tell: For people who may have been assaulted or know someone who has, remind them that it is okay to tell a trusted adult.

For help with sexual assault and rape you may contact;

Mirabel Centre
Women At Risk International Foundation (WARIF)
Stand To End Rape Initiative (STER)